The “Led-Met 3000 Feline-Lite”®, with “Dual Mind-Shield”® Technology

The tinfoil hat has long been the defense of choice when it comes to keeping out harmful government mind-control signals.

However, a recent MIT study established that tinfoil hats actually amplify frequency bands which happen to coincide with those allocated to the United States government between 1.2 G/Hz and 1.4 G/Hz. According to the FCC, these frequencies are reserved for ”radio location” (such as GPS), and other communications with satellites.

This discovery, which sent waves of panic through the tinfoil manufacturing and conspiracy theorist worlds, has in turn prompted many less mentally stable extremely reputable scientists to devote extensive time and resources to the development of an alternative cranial adornment, able to keep out even the most persistent of government signals.

Additionally, the commonly held belief that all cats are spies, either for the government or an extraterrestrial invasion force [opinions are still divided on this matter], has led to parallel R&D being carried out on a feline version.

Whilst a viable human model is still some way in the future, the research here at ‘IceGiant Laboratories‘® has now resulted in a piece of feline head wear which boasts the ability to not only interrupt communications between the cat and its shady masters, but also to dampen its natural telepathic abilities which can influence its owner and detect the opening of a can of cat food at up to three miles distance.

Google, the ‘Information Mugger’?

On the 9th of June, an organisation few people had previously heard of, released a report branding Google as the worst offender on the web where user privacy is concerned.
This in turn, prompted a rather heart-felt response from Google’s Matt Cutts in his personal blog.

 This post is the result of a discussion thread, currently underway over at the Google Webmaster Help Group.

In fact, it more or less mirrors my own response therein:

 Ok… so now we all know that Google is an ‘Information Mugger’ who hits you over the head and steals your wallet.

The IceGiant has landed; with a bellyflop as usual

So here it is; just another blog launched by a web developer in the vain hope it will increase his web site’s search engine performance and bring in a multitude of new clients?

Not really…

While it’s true that everybody and his brother have been
flocking to blogging (whoever came up with that one?) in order to boost their web site’s performance, this will be more of a tongue in cheek look at human nature and the continuing tendency for the commercial moo cows on the web to jump on the latest bandwagon without any real understanding of what the hell is actually going on.

And trust me, there are an awful lot of moo cows out there, happily following the nearest Judas Goat into the slaughter house, figuratively speaking of course.

Then again; by and large, some web designers, developers and especially SEO professionals (these have a special place in my heart) are not exactly blameless where the present situation is concerned.
With what is best described as a ‘Secret Squirrel’ attitude, a certain proportion of operators in the web promotion industry seem to positively revel in the secure knowledge that they know something their clients don’t.

Strangely enough though, this quasi-magical SEO knowledge is rarely grounded in anything more than educated guesses or the instructions of promotional software which tells ‘the professionals’ what they should be doing.

But what the hell… as long as the customer doesn’t know; who cares, right?

Damn!
Did I say this thing was going to be tongue in cheek?
Sorry about that; I shall endeavor to be a bit more humorous in future.

The fact is that although most operators in the web design and promotion industries are competent professionals, there is a small percentage of cowboys which has given the rest a bad name.

Then again, these days it’s usually easy to spot black hat operators in this game.
They’re the ones who give over-the-top guarantees and refuse to discuss any aspect of their methods.

If confronted with such an individual, my advice would be to avoid eye contact and make good your escape before they get their hands on your cheque book.
In extreme cases, resort to the nearest heavy object.

Seriously though; there really is no need for operators in the industry to take the ‘Secret Squirrel’ stance.
Ultimately, the overwhelming majority of clients have no interest in discovering industry secrets or indeed any desire to learn about the more technical aspects of things.
They are merely looking for competent professionals to carry out the required task and deserve to be treated as valuable clients rather than idiots.

Food for thought?
Damned if I know.